visions and insides

In Keylong I have first time after 3 weeks Internet. Keylong is not really small, very tourisic, but they developed a boring-is-ness. It feels like everyone in town is bored. The season is nearly gone… Ankush had the feeling, when he was here, too…..
Actually I planed to stay 2 full days, three nights, but after 2 nights the time was come leave.

Anyway, during my stay Xavier and Chamille, the French bycicle couple ask me, which way I continue….. Which way I continue?  They cycled instead of getting to Manali into Spiti Valley and then further down towards Shimla. And enjoyed. I was a bit interested to do so, but because I have to renew my visa in 3 weeks in Nepal, I dropped the idea. And just to far. I counted in my map, another 556 km. So it does not make sence to do it now.

While leaving Keylong I had a strong longing to just walk back to Leh. But this is also just not possible because the Visa issue and also the cold weather is coming. The street will partly also close at the end of October. ……. The mind had some explanations. …..

After turning around the next corner, after dusty Tandi…..  The scenery becomes so beautiful. Looking towards the south so many nice glaciers. The weather is still beautiful, sometimes little white clouds at the sky. At the beautiful village Gondhla I find a nice family to host me. Amorshand and his wife invite me. Sometimes in Buddhist houses it’s a bit a reserved atmosphere. It’s very friendly, but also little talking. Sometimes a feeling of unsureness is rising up, if you are really welcome, on the other side, there is nothing, what you are missing. Then suddenly, the dinner is served. Amorshands wife is sitting in front of all the pots to distribute the food. After, if it is 7 or 9pm you are asked, if you want to sleep now. I always agree, to have some resting time, even though I am not tired.
Happy to stay longer, ‚why not‘ Amorshad says…. ‚if I come another time, I maid come along…‘ Yes sure…..

I think back to the area close to Rumtse. To all the stupas there and that I was walking and chanting around them. Collecting stones and putting beautiful once on the stupas…… feeling totally happy with this….. These days I think often about my mother and my father. I don’t know, if I have to get there, to help them somehow, or to support….. in the other hand I have not completed all the walk and I should trust, that there is a time for everything and univers is perfect. This is a process of many days, where I came to the conclusion to be without regret and fully on the peace walk. However long it takes.
Regarding my own further future it is very much possible, that I also, when becoming ‚old‘, will develop a dementia, as my father has now, as my grandfather had, and all my father’s sisters and his brother has developed. Knowing how we deal with dementia, people are mostly in homes, less outside, I ask myself how I would feel, being bound to a home…..
I would love, if I can’t avoid this situation of experience dementia, to be outside. Like in a 2 by 2 km area, surrounded by a fence. Inside he fence nature, can even be desert, as close to Rumtse with some stupas in it, where I can surround the stupas and play with the stones. I could wear a foot fetter/hobble with a antenna, so I can be found at the evening. Riscs of dead or injuries I would take,  even signing a paper in advance, that no-one else is responsible for damage of my body by of being ‚free‘ in nature. So, I could be kind of happy….. In a building I would not be happy, I am pretty sure……
But why not totally wake up????
Would that avoid a dementia?
Are there enlightened dementia people?
(This are kind of serious thoughts, but I see also myself avoiding thinking of such a scenario)

Anyway. After Gondhla it comes very strong back, from my belly, from my heart, to go back to Leh. I am also again tempted to go to the Spiti Valley.
The whole day I am so busy, beside enjoying nature and the glaciers, to diguest and understand this idea and develope a solution for it.
I also don’t know, if this all is coming up, because I sing inwardly again the ‚om mani padme hum‘. In the ‚only nature‘ areas I a little bit forgot. Now, there are stupas again, ‚om mani padme hum‘ stones, buddhist flags….. little reminders and sometimes I have the feeling, if a ‚reminder‘ is close, my system starts automatically singing the mantra inwardly.
During the day I have the joy to witness the enfolding of a solution for this longing, the energy pulling me towards Leh and Spiti -Valley. And I am very happy with the solution. I will just go the way again. But this time from Shimla to Spiti and then to Leh and back. This is 1030km one way. And I will do it next year through the summer.

Even though there is a solution, I am still tempted to again think of Spiti Valley this year, but I promised to myself and to the All-It, that I will not do. I speak to the spirits and the elements, that they don’t need to send a big cloud, to make me understand, that I way to Spiti is blocked (by the weather and the snow) because until now, it was still open – 4550m pass.

In the evening I arrive in Koksar, the village before the Rothang pass towards Manali (and the village before the cross road towards Spiti). 2 nights rest before crossing Rothang pass (3.950m).
There is also a Stupa and some ‚mani‘ stones. I circle and sing inwardly the mantra. Everytime a stupa is on the way I circle and sing.

So many creations are arising, ideas. So I would love to even create a pilgrim’s way towards Leh with ‚reminders‘ of the way. Even a long long long ‚mani‘ stone way in the Plains……

….. and finally? Just the evening before I left towards….. a big dark cloud arised out the nowhere (from the direction Spiti)…… with some snow – just to make sure, that I go towards …..Manali…..

It is a joy to see the new snow as powder at the mountains, and also during the walk over Rothang pass next morning. And there is something I witnessed coming close to Rothang pass. Suddenly in my mind the mantra ‚om mani padme hum‘ is singing itself and I witnessed, when it started….. And I ask myself, why is that happening now? And I turn around a corner…. And there is a Stupa…..